Q: What do computers and air conditions have in common? A: They're both become useless when you open windows.
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
Bill Gates dies and goes to God. God says to him: Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want. God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches. So he chooses hell. After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there. Bill says: No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me? Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.