The best IT jokes

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer, technology
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
Vote: has 65.83 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, Yo mama
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack. Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer. Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier! Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way? Caller: Six weeks!
Vote: has 65.42 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT, stupid
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
Vote: has 64.93 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, coding, geek, IT, programmer
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and... Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We await your direction.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, management, money, time