The best IT jokes

Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: food, friendship, internet, IT, technology
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
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has 67.10 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: IT
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: IT
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and... Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We await your direction.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: IT, management, money, time
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? A: Lost.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: accountant, IT, technology, work
If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT
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