The best IT jokes

If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, technology
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: IT, management
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, programmer, science, work
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: geek, internet, IT, technology
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: IT
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: IT, science
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, geek, IT, technology
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: IT
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, technology
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