Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
I dropped my laptop into the ocean the other day. Now I have a Dell rolling in the deep.
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist? A: Because it had Bluetooth.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.
If the box says: "This software requires Windows XP or better" Does that mean it'LL run on Linux?