If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover?
A: Your mouse pad.
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
Vote:
Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!
Me: Yeah that was me
Gmail: No it was on another device!
Me: Yes my tablet
Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?!
Me: What? No!
Gmail: Call the police
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.
Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Windows, the world's first commercially successful virus!
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
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