Joke #4891

A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"

Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."

Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."

You would think that taking off a snail's shell would make it move faster, but it actually just makes it more sluggish.

Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.

Dogs may shed, but cats shred.

Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.

How does a frog confuse you? When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.

You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.