A man has his car full of penguins.
He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him.
He says.
"Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!"
The man does that.
The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins.
Once again he drives past the policeman.
"Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"I did," replies the man.
"We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
A: Fiddler on the hoof.
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed,
"Yes."
"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Yours sincerely,
The CAT
What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra?
Spot!