Joke #4096

A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
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The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.
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Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
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Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
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Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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