A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.
Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.