What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay.
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
What's the important part of a horse? The manr part.
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."
What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk? He always liked to make a stink.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.