Joke #9954

What is a moo hoo for steak that came late? Filet delay.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
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has 82.33 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
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has 69.45 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, cowboy, time
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
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has 72.87 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, parrot
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
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has 38.25 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, men, stupid
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
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has 79.83 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, blonde, dirty, geography
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal