What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
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Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before.
"It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted.
Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag.
"Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter.
"All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.
"Gerald - the house you bought was too big.
I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house.
Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old.
But Robert - you know exactly what I like.
The chicken was delicious."
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat?
A: The inside.