What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
Squid pro quo.
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Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him.
That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming.
Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
Vote:
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."