What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.
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A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says:
Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards.
Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game.
Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers "
Wow, that's a really smart dog!".
The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
A man has his car full of penguins.
He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him.
He says.
"Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!"
The man does that.
The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins.
Once again he drives past the policeman.
"Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!"
"I did," replies the man.
"We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"