Joke #9823

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'" the woman said embarrassingly. "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the lady responded, "this may very well be the solution." The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"
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has 85.65 % from 577 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot, priest
What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? A seahorse.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, health
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money