Joke #3814

What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal

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The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager". The questions are not that difficult. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal doesn't attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year-old.
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has 83.06 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, management, memory, work
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
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has 57.27 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, jewish
A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes. He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?" The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
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has 75.33 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
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has 77.98 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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has 21.85 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty