What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
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One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
A cud thud.
How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath.
"Here's the cutest baby animal ever."
"Now let's watch something eat it."
A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’
Boy: ‘I’m not.
I’m just holding it.
It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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