What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.