What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
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Two flies sit on a pile of poop.
One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.
Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked.
"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.
"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.
"That's because he's inside your cat!"
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