What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
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A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead?
Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
I'm not paying," said the duck.
"I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?"
Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat?
A harebrush.