What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up.
Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper !
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
Shark absorbers.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree.
Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them:
Who pulled out this tree from his root?
Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.