Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing not more than fifty feet from them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes. Then, as the bear slowly approached them, he furiously attempted to lace them up. The second man, somewhat confused, looked at the first man and said, "Whaddya doing? Running shoes ain’t gonna help! You can't outrun that there bear!" "I don't need to outrun the bear, buddy," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25." Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?" "Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."