You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.
A snail and a slug got in a crash. When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened. He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.