You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a fence!
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Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
How are skunks able to avoid danger?
By using their instinks and common scents.
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest.
The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!"
The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!"
The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!"
"Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute."
The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut."
He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."
Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
While standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.
When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "Fuck you! " in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge.
The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage.
Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn.
Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat.
The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same.
Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half.
The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid."
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper?
Warren.
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick?
A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
