Joke #11101

You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? He keeps coming and coming and coming...
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Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films? He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
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Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
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A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children, "Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep." "Why to the waist", the children interested. "Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you." The mother returned and her children met her at the door, "Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep." "Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?" "Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
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More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "Ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them." And the other rabbit says, "We're going to run for it you idiot I'm your brother."
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A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
Vote: has 81.58 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer