Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke? This one will sleigh you.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b's already.
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.” “Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.