Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
What do frogs do with paper? Rip-it!
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter? He didn't have the hare fare.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.