Question: Why does Tigger smell?
Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
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Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol.
She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately.
She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?"
The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger!
Beware of Dog’.
He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor.
‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper.
‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper.
‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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