Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
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Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About eight beers.
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."
What's the important part of a horse?
The manr part.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
The male worm towards the female worm:
Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car.
Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
"Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.