Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts? Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat? A: The inside.
One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience: "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever seen a ghost?" and 3 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Okay, now who here has ever had sex with a ghost?" and 1 person, an old man raises his hand. So she goes up to this old man and says "what was it like?" and he said "Oh…it was great! Never had any like it before!" and she asked "Really? So the ghost was good?" and the old man said "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull.
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?