Joke #10074

Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales. The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, "Get off your horse." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, "Now drop your pants." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I s**t. Then he says, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, "Drop your pants." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He s**ts. Then I say, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."
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has 62.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, disgusting
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
A police station gets 2 new horses and 2 cops are assigned to be mounted policemen. They go on a ride and come back pleased. "This horse is great! From now on I'll always take this one" said the first cop. "My horse's great too. So I'll always take it" replied the second cop. "But how do we know which is which?" They though for a minute or two and one of them came up with an idea. "Lets cut off this ones tail" The other cop agreed and the horse lost it's tail. The next morning The police chief is standing infront of the horses and looks really mad. The two cops see this and ask whats wrong. "You two morons cut off the horses tail that's what's wrong!" "But otherwise we couldn't tell them apart." "Can't you see the black one is a bit taller then the brown one?!"
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has 69.30 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
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has 16.64 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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has 72.44 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal