Joke #10693

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.

What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.

Q: Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired? A: Because he couldn't keep his calves together!

My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!

You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."

When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.

A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"

What gas do snails prefer? Shell.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.

What do you call the everyday routines of rabbits? Rabbits habits.

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”