What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
There is a Bar in Calumpang who have has a Horse and they have a contest of it. Whoever will make the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free drinks. So a man from Manila comes in and the Bartender looks at him and he ask for a beer and he ask the Bartender about the contest. The Bartender tells him that whoever makes the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free beer on the house. So this guy whisper something to the horse and the horse rolls over and laughing! EEEHHH! He takes the P5,000 from the Bartender, drinks a lot of beer. As he is about to leave the Bartender ask him, "Will you be back tomorrow when we'll have a new contest?" The guy replies" Of course this is easier money than my career." So the next night. The guy walks into the Bar with a large smile and reads the sign next to the Horse: Whoever makes the Horse cry will win P10,000 and free beer from the house. The Bartender tells the guy," Let me see you win this one." The guy approaches the Horse and shows him something. The Horse starts rolling on the ground and crying. When the guy goes to claim his prize. The Bartender says." Before I pay you, You have to tell me what you did to the horse?" The guy lights a cigarette and says," Easy the first time, I told the Horse that my penis is larger than his, the second time I showed him."
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk? A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A slow poke.