Joke #9850

Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, game
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
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has 78.20 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, sex
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal