Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream!
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left him.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films?
He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!
Q: What goes "oom... oom"?
A: A cow walking backward!
Vote:
Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.