Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.