A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
"Does your dog bite?" "No." (Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him) "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" "That is not my dog."
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!