Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.
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If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it?
Jawbreakers.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds.
It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.
Vote:
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?
Alike did was stand around making faces.
This guy from up north just up and one day moved down south to start himself a farm.
He came across this man and asked him where he could get a good donkey to pull a cart and plow.
The man said I've got just what you need.
Only thing is down here we don't call them donkeys we call them an ass.
He said when this ass stops you'll have to get off the cart and slap them to get it going again.
The northern man thanks him and heads on his way.
He comes up to a man seeking chickens.
He says to the man, I'd like to buy a rooster and a hen.
The guy sai d sure thing but down here we don't call em roosters and hens.
We call them a cock and a pullet.
The man from up north says ok, thanks the man and is on his way.
He going along in his cart when his donkey stops in the middle of the road.
He remembers what the man said he had to do to get it going.
Just then a lady is walking by.
So he walks up to her and says, "excuse me miss, but will you hold my cock and pullet while I slap my ass."
Vote:
Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise?
The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
What do cows do for entertainment?
They go to the mooooovies.