Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
What's a rabbits favorite musical? Hare.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat? A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today" The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!