What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
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What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.
A police station gets 2 new horses and 2 cops are assigned to be mounted policemen.
They go on a ride and come back pleased.
"This horse is great! From now on I'll always take this one" said the first cop.
"My horse's great too. So I'll always take it" replied the second cop.
"But how do we know which is which?"
They though for a minute or two and one of them came up with an idea.
"Lets cut off this ones tail"
The other cop agreed and the horse lost it's tail.
The next morning The police chief is standing infront of the horses and looks really mad.
The two cops see this and ask whats wrong.
"You two morons cut off the horses tail that's what's wrong!"
"But otherwise we couldn't tell them apart."
"Can't you see the black one is a bit taller then the brown one?!"
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Me: Hey look its Nemo!
Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish.
Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat Ball.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?”
Most of the hands go up.
“And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?”
About half the hands stay up.
“Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with a ghost?”
Three hands stay up; there’s a slight murmur in the crowd.
“Gosh, that’s pretty good. Okay, have any of you ever, uh…, been *intimate* with a ghost?”
One hand stays up.
The speaker blinks.
“Gosh, sir, are you telling us that you’ve actually had *sexual* contact with a ghost?”
The fellow suddenly blushes and says, “Oh, I’m sorry,… I thought you said goat!”
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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