What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
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When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar.
Man says "you can leave that lion here."
The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no one.
Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
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How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage.
What's a rabbits favourite car?
Any make, just as long it's a hutchback.
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
Tarzan stripes forever.