What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?" "Let us spray!" replied the other.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.