Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
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The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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