Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.