Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris can mute silence.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.