Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
Of course you would.
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
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