Joke #1079

Q. How does a frog confuse you? A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
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What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk." "Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
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What happens when sharks take their clothes off? They go sharkers.
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Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
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What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers!
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