What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol. She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
What's a rabbits favorite book? Hop on Pop.
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!