What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.
What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.