What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.