What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.