Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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Time waits for no man.
Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
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