Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris...
Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
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