Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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