Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
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Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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