Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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