Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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People say that time heals all wounds.
They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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