Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Chuck Norris's Blood Can't be matched...
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If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all.
Your life may be forfeit.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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