Where was your mom last night? At Chuck Norris' place.
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs. This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.