What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent? A: A snake in the brass.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Does a dolphin ever do something by accident? No, they do everything on porpoise.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk. But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!" The bartender walks over and see's the octopus and he says, "Didn't you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!" The man say's to the bartender, "oh but you don't understand this is a special octopus and he can play any musical instrument that you have." The bartender replied back, "well I'll tell you what, if he can play any instrument you can both drink for free all night!" The bartender walks up to the band playing and grabs a guitar. He puts it down on the bar. The octopus crawls up on the bar and feels around the guitar for a little while, then finally he picks it up and starts jamming. He's so good he sounded like Jimi Hendricks! The bartender was amazed and says, "alright lets try one more". This time he goes into the back room and brings out a dusty old set of bagpipes and promptly put them on the bar and says "lets see him play this!" The octopus starts crawling all over the bagpipes. He continues this for quite awhile. The bartender shouted out " See I knew he couldn't play all these instruments!" And the man replies, "Just give him a few more minutes... as soon as he figures out he can't have sex with it, he'll play it!"
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drum kit.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.