How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each hoof!
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Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?
For smoking in bed.
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore?
A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
What is a buttress?
A female goat.
A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship.
His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!"
One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot.
For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas.
Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician.
Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.