Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
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Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
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When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
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Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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