Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
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What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris?
His foot.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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