Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
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Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Wet doesn't get Chuck Norris Chuck Norris gets wet.
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Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.
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