Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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Aliens do exist.
They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas.
They made a deal.
Chuck now owns the shop.
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
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