Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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