Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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Light just wishes it was a fast as one of Chuck's fists.
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Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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