Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.