Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.