Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.