Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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