Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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