Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Once Chuck Norris met a man on a horse that he did'nt like, now we know him as the headless horseman.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.