Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
You don't leave a room, Chuck Norris throws you out.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.