Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
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Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.
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When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
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