Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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