I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body.
I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
Vote:
Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
Vote:
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Vote:
Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
Vote:
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
Vote:
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Vote:
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
Vote:
Joke has 21.73 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day