Chuck Norris discovered America.
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Chuck Norris is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.