Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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