Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.
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Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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