Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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