Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard. They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.