Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding.
Chuck gave him a warning.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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When Chuck Norris goes out to survive in the Wilderness, the Wilderness ends up trying to survive from him.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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