When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.