Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
How much white out does Chuck Norris use? Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.