Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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