Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
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Chuck Norris can hear pictures.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Sand is created by Chuck Norris shouting at rocks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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