Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.