Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
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Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving?
They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree.
He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?"
"Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet.
"Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."
The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?"
"Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
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