Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
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What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
What's a pet's favorite day?
Saint Petrick's Day.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad?
A: Dady issues!
What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a
hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll
show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes,
laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.
"Here," she
said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.