Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. Well neither can a fence!
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"