Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
Why do cows think cooks are mean? They whip cream!
What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum. Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care.
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
What's a rabbits favorite book? Hop on Pop.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.