Joke #10831

Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll [insert appropriate colloquialism for sodomy here].” The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers and bends over; and the bear does what he said he would do. After the bear has left, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers back into town. He’s pretty mad. He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.” Afterward, the hunter pulls up his trousers, crawls back into town, and buys a bazooka. Now he’s really mad. He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires. The force of the bazooka blast knocks him flat on his back. When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says, “You’re not doing this for the hunting, are you?”
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has 84.34 % from 632 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, hunting
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road? A: To get hit by my car.
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, fat
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
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has 73.67 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog