What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!