What does a frog say when it sees something' great?
Toadly awesome!
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A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair.
An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
A lady goes into a bar with her goose.
Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"
Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."
And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Hamburger.
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits?
Wheelburrows.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window?
A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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