To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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