Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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