Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time