Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.