Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
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What does a squid sheriff form?
An octoposse.
A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Vote:
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Vote:
"Pa's being chased by a bull!"
"Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?"
"Get me some film for my camera."
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster.
(Try saying that fast!)
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
There is a Bar in Calumpang who have has a Horse and they have a contest of it.
Whoever will make the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free drinks.
So a man from Manila comes in and the Bartender looks at him and he ask for a beer and he ask the Bartender about the contest.
The Bartender tells him that whoever makes the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free beer on the house.
So this guy whisper something to the horse and the horse rolls over and laughing!
EEEHHH!
He takes the P5,000 from the Bartender, drinks a lot of beer.
As he is about to leave the Bartender ask him, "Will you be back tomorrow when we'll have a new contest?"
The guy replies" Of course this is easier money than my career."
So the next night.
The guy walks into the Bar with a large smile and reads the sign next to the Horse:
Whoever makes the Horse cry will win P10,000 and free beer from the house.
The Bartender tells the guy," Let me see you win this one."
The guy approaches the Horse and shows him something.
The Horse starts rolling on the ground and crying.
When the guy goes to claim his prize. The Bartender says."
Before I pay you, You have to tell me what you did to the horse?"
The guy lights a cigarette and says," Easy the first time, I told the Horse that my penis is larger than his, the second time I showed him."