Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher-
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!