Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
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Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull?
Answer: Lipstick.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.
He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?"
"Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
Ronnie goes to the auction.
He notices a parrot that was on auction.
Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars.
Auctioneer: 50 Dollars
Voice: 100 Dollars
Ronnie: 200 Dollars
Voice: 300 Dollars
Ronnie: 400 Dollars
Voice: 750 Dollars
Ronnie: 800 Dollars
Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold.
Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it."
Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.