A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head.
The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’
‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’
‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman.
‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
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What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
How does a leopard change its spots?
When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out.
One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time.
In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while.
Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him.
"However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk.
"In-stinct," replied Out.
A cow and a horse were galloping around a curve opposite to.
They landed in each other.
Who was wrong?
The cow, it didn't blow its horn.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
She'll cream you.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hi, honey."
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend?
A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Vote:
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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