Joke #4441

A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’ ‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’ ‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman. ‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
Vote:
has 12.61 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has 4 rabbits feet.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
Vote:
has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house. He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
Vote:
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, drunk, stupid
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?" The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
Vote:
has 78.86 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, time
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Elephant replies: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse." So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Mouse: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc." So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Croc: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar." So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it." Lion: "Why did you do that?" Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, knock-knock
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, athlete
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. “Are you hurt?” she asks. She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
Vote:
has 79.78 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, hospital, love, women