A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head.
The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’
‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’
‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman.
‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
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On their bunnymoon.
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What is the definition of "derange"?
De place where de cowboys ride.
What’s a black spot between two white spots?
A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message.
‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’
The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words.
You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’
‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: Cheetah.
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