Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
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Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Vote:
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?"
Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?"
Jack: "Prontosaurus."
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Vote:
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher.
Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree.
Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him.
The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first.
But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again.
Suddenly, the two bears return.
But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.