Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.