Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me. 
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Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom.
He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower.
He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny."
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower.
He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
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Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
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Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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