Joke #8546

Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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has 58.58 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods... Cats have never forgotten this. Here's proof that Cats are smarter than dogs... You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God! Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes. Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: "Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away?" "Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves." "You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!" "Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling?" "I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk!" "Help me please, please help!"
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has 74.15 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death, parrot
At the pet shop, a man spots a parrot without any feet. The man leans in, "Hey buddy, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a hook." "Wow," says the guy. "I can't believe you're so smart! I'm taking you home." Weeks go by, and the parrot not only understands everything the man says, but he gives good advice. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Hey, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the mailman." "What happened?" asks the guy. "Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth." "What happened then?" asks the guy. "Then, the mailman came into the house and lifted up your wife's nightgown," reports the parrot. "Oh no!" the guy says. "Then what?" "I don't know," says the parrot. "I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot, wife
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body? A New Zealander's cock!
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Which rabbit is a famous comedian? Bob Hop.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal